Hey man sorry I got all grabby
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize