all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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