dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
