We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Randomize
