I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
