it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
