Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
