I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
