vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Can I color on your dick again?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
the liver wants what the liver wants
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
