So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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