I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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