Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize