THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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