I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize