Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
