When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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