Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
