Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
