I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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