Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
