Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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