Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Holy sore nipples Batman
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
