who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
