I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Randomize
