I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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