so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
P.S. I can't hear my feet
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
