How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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