After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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