Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
