I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
