Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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