Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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