we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There's a naked man in my car right now.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
