She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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