Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize