Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
