youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize