Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
