I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
