I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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