So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
