I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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