so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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