Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
