bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
