my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
