this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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