I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
