honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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