We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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