Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize