I puked a lego.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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