I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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