So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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