I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
