I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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