Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
