as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
