So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
