Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
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