So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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