i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
