Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
