I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
